A change

I'm not going to be using Blogger any more. I'm writing on www.merciesanew.wordpress.com so go check it out there! Eventually I'll delete this, so I hope that anyone who reads this makes this change.

September 10, 2005

I'm 4 days late with this post. For that I apologize. But with the hectic schedule of college, I just didn't have the time to until now.

September 10, 2005 started out as a normal school day. I was still at BJ and was going about my daily routine. Classes, lunch, homework,...the norm. I came in from classes and went to check my email. I had an email from my church back home and it was then that this "normal" day took a turn. Right there in front of me, I read words that brought tears to my eyes, a lump in my throat, and an ache to my heart. My grandfather had passed away. I knew in the back of my mind that this moment was going to come. It had just come sooner than I had wanted it to. In August before leaving for college again, I was able to talk to him and tell him one more time that I love him. And if my memory serves me correctly, he told me he loved me too. Now, for most people, that's not a shock. But for me and my family, my grandparents don't really share their feelings too much. Not very often have the words, "I love you" come out of their mouths. When they do, it's definitely treasured. All sorts of thoughts flooded my mind. I ran from the room and immediately called my mom. No answer. So I called my dad. No answer. So I called my sister. She answered. The only thing I could ask was, "Is it true?" Then the reality had set in, and I realized he was gone. My sister and I sat crying to each other on the phone while talking through what had happened. My dad then called me and I talked with him about when he was going to come and get me for the funeral. September 10, 2005 was one of my hardest days. Friends saw me and tried to comfort me. Yet it all seemed in vain. I wasn't feeling comforted. I needed the One who can comfort me like no one else can. I finally got home for the funeral, and found out my sister and I were supposed to sing for it. Talk about hard. The Lord gave us strength to make it through the entire song...no tears. I said my last goodbye to my grandfather while listening to the men play "Taps" on their trumpets. The flag was given to my grandmother and my grandfather was laid to rest. It was real. It was done. He was gone.

At certain times I remember my grandfather and the fond memories I have of him. I smile and remember his quirks and think of how he is in Heaven now, waiting for the rest of us. He's been gone for 2 years, and it doesn't seem possible. I found out yesterday that a friend of mine is about to lose his grandfather. He's in California and is only given 90 days. The reunion between them is unknown, so my friend is leaving today to go and see him. I'm not as sad for him because his grandfather might pass away. I'm sad for him because his grandfather is not saved. I miss my grandpa, but I know I'll see him again. My friend doesn't. I think of my situation 2 years ago, and I know that because I've gone through it, I know what my friend is feeling. The part I don't understand, is to know I may never see him again. I pray for my friend to be able to witness to his grandfather, and that God would see fit to allow this man to be saved before God takes him.

I needed comforting when my grandfather passed away. And I needed it from my Lord and Savior. I'm so glad I found it and was able to call upon Him to be my refuge and my strength.

Long time

I can't believe it's been so long since I updated this thing! Wow...times goes by so fast. The summer is over and I'm packing up for college again. I'm SUPER excited. I get to be roommates with my best friend and we're the only ones in the room! :) It can't get much better than that! The roome will be a little snug, but we'll make it work. I've been busy getting things done and trying to get organized and packed. It's way easier said than done! I'm hopefully going to finish up my shopping today and packing will be finished tomorrow. I leave on Sunday and it can't come too soon! I'll Lord willing be graduating in May this year. Then...who knows what! :) I'm excited to see where the Lord will lead next summer and next year. I know this is a short update, but that's what it is...an update! I'll hopefully be on here more often once school starts again to keep things up to date on here.

It's been a long time

Hey friends!

It's been a while since I've written on here. Wow! Time sure flies! Thankfully school is over for the semester and summer is well underway. I'm absolutely LOVING my job at the Day Care. The kids are great. And it's always nice to get paid for something you love to do! I miss my sister like CRAZZZZY. She moved to Greenville about 3 weeks ago. It seems like it's been soooo much longer. But, it's been ok without her. I'm managing to live. Hopefully I'll see her soon. Church is going well. For Sunday School, we're going through Jim Berg's "Quieting a Noisy Soul." It's really good. I'm enjoying it very much! We also made these verse boxes. It's to help memorize verses better. You end up saying a verse daily, weekly, bi-monthly, and monthly. I've not gotten too far yet, but so far it's very helpful. I'm loving it! Other than that, not too much else is new to tell. I figured I needed to update so you all know that I'm still alive! Hopefully more will happen this summer to tell you about. And I'll put up some pictures of my wonderful little cherubs at work. Until then, here's a song that is actually my favorite one right now. LOVE it!

In Christ alone will I glory
Though I could pride myself in battles won
For I’ve been blessed beyond measure
And by His strength alone I’ll overcome
Oh, I could stop and count successes like diamonds in my hands
But those trophies could not equal to the grace by which I stand

In Christ alone
I place my trust
And find my glory in the power of the cross
In every victory
Let it be said of me
My source of strength
My source of hope
Is Christ alone

In Christ alone do I glory
For only by His grace I am redeemed
For only His tender mercy
Could reach beyond my weakness to my need
And now I seek no greater honor in just to know Him more
And to count my gains but losses to the glory of my Lord

In Christ alone
I place my trust
And find my glory in the power of the cross
In every victory
Let it be said of me
My source of strength
My source of hope
Is Christ alone

Seasons change, but my God doesn't

I love flowers. Gerber Daisies and Cala Lilies have to be my 2 favorite flowers. There's just something about flowers that makes me feel...happy. No, I don't have flowers sitting on my desk or dresser...but I have the picture and it's making me smile.

I was sitting here tonight thinking about flowers and noticing that I was smiling. The rain outside makes me think of spring and all the plants are in bloom (or soon will be) and all that made my thoughts turn to God. Isn't it funny how we as humans complain because it is too hot, too cold, always snowing, always raining, too sunny, too cloudy...the list, I'm sure, could go on. How dull our world would be if we didn't have some hot, cold, snowy, rainy, sunny, cloudy days. For one, the plants would die if we had no rain. Then spring wouldn't be as beautiful as it is with all of the new plants coming "back to life." And fall wouldn't be as pretty either without the falling leaves and crisp wind. I know that today, with it raining practically all day (or so it seemed!) I was one of the first to complain. God quickly rebuked me and opened my eyes to His beautiful and wonderful creation. Praise the Lord for the seasons.

Here is the most beautiful bouquet of Cala Lilies I could find on the Internet. Amazing. Flowers are indeed one of my favorite things. I've been singing songs in my head all day long. Several just popped in for a visit, and ended up staying all day! And I'm thankful for that. Singing songs throughout my day has helped me focus on God. So often things happen in my day that bring me down and I get too fixed on myself. But, God graciously allowed me to think about Him today. And I found that my day really does go better when I think about Him!

Jesus, Jesus, Jesus

There's just something about that name

Master, Saviour, Jesus

Like the fragrance after the rain

Jesus, Jesus, Jesus

Let all Heaven and Earth proclaim

Kings and kingdoms

Will all pass away

But there's something about that Name.

This song in particular has been on my mind today. I don't know how many of you might know it. It was a song I sort of grew up listening to. My dad is a big fan of the Bill Gaither (if you've never heard of him...look him up!) videos and we have quite the collection of them. This is a song that was on them and I've always liked it. It's simple. Not much to it. But, there really is something about His name.

Finals start Thursday for me...and most of campus. I'm excited, yet a little sad and nervous. I'm fairly certain that my finals will go well, but they are tests. And tests are never fun. I'm a little sad to have to say goodbye to some people. Thinking that next semester, some of the friends I've made won't be here. Excited to go home and be with my family again. Mixed emotions...it's rough being a college student! But, I have faith in my God and Savior to get me through. A little more time with Him this week, will give me the strength that I need to make it through.

Pictures!

Elisabeth, Tim, Me, and Melissa eating our delicious Cheese Steaks!

Dr. Bu and Rocky

Luke took this pic of Katie, Melissa, Amber, Dr. Bu, and I in front of Independence Hall.

The historic Liberty Bell. How neat is it that we sang "My Country 'Tis of Thee" around it?!

Me, Matthew, Jim, Dustin, and Jordan on the Ferry.

The amazing Statue of Liberty as viewed from the Staten Island Ferry.

The lovely Washington Monument.

Update

I think I'm overdue for an update. But my excuse is I was gone for 2 weeks on Madrigal tour. Don't worry...pictures will come soon. I didn't take as many as other people did, which is somewhat sad. But, never fear...I have many memories. The trip was AMAZING! I loved touring, singing, meeting new people, staying in their homes, and best of all, the road trips! Driving from Wisconsin to Illinois, Indiana, Ohio, Michigan, New York, Pennsylvania, Maryland, Connecticut, New Jersey, Virginia and back was quite the adventure. Seeing New York City, Philadelphia (and eating a real Philly Cheese steak too!), and Washington DC was definitely something to remember. Having the most gorgeous day while in Indianapolis seeing the Canal (if you've never been there, go. It is a must. The water is dirty, but the rest is beautiful!) was a highlight. The best thing about tour has to be seeing and staying with my family. Now with 15 days of school left before finals and about 20 left until graduation...I'm not sure how everything will get done. So much to do...not enough time.

Faith in God's Control

Over the past few, well, I guess weeks now, God has really been trying to teach me to have more faith in Him. There are many times that I find myself not wanting to trust Him. But why? I mean, He did create me. He does have a perfect plan for my life, doesn't He? What makes me think I have a better plan and will for my life than He does? For crying out loud...I'm human and He's GOD. He knows all...I know nothing. Why am I trying to keep parts of my life from being in God's total control? Why do I still hang on to those small areas in my life, when I know...beyond the shadow of a doubt...He has a plan to glorify Himself through my life? Why should I want to change it so that I'm in control and not glorifying Him? It's strange how we think sometimes. We often think we're invincible and that we know what's best for our lives, when all we really need to do is hide ourselves in the One that truly knows what's best for us. God's been trying to teach me to trust in Him for the seemingly small things in my life now, then later I'll be able to trust and have faith in Him for the bigger things in life. But it's almost as if I shouldn't have to go through trusting Him in the small things just to trust Him in the big things. I should already trust Him. But, I don't. He's very patient with me. Waiting for me to have faith in Him and trust Him for everything.

I was noticing this morning at the Madrigal Rehearsal how Dr. Budahl is a man of faith and trust in God. This is his last semester here at MBBC teaching music. He'll be going back on the mission field next year. I've only known the man this semester, really. He's made such an impact in my life already. I don't know if he knows exactly what he'll be doing once he's back on the mission field, but even if he does, how much faith does he need in God to direct, lead, and provide for him and his wife. He's an amazing man. I'm so broken right now about my lack of faith and trust in my God.

In reading the book, "Living the Cross-Centered Life" by C. J. Mahaney, I have been completely rebuked also in my lack of love for my Savior. This is definitely a book every Christian should read. It will change your outlook on life. It has mine. To picture the true picture of Christ dying on the cross is simply amazing. To picture the love God has for us to send His Son...His only Son for us...for me...is something that honestly brings me to tears to think about. He loved me that much...to die. Not just die. He was brutally marred, scarred, beaten, mocked...tortured in every sense of the word...for you and me. He didn't have to. He prayed that God would let this cup (the cup of God's wrath) pass from Him, yet not Christ's will, but God's will be done. He didn't have to die for us. But He wanted to because He loves us that much. And this brings me back to the lack of faith and trust. He loved me that much...and I can't trust Him?! How stupid of me to even think for one second that He doesn't know what's best for me!

The picture I posted up there reminds of a song that Madrigal is singing called "Hymn of Mercy." The words always get me. It's amazing. I hope they're a blessing to you, as they have been to me.

Gracious Lord, Thy mercy filleth
All the earth below;

And from heaven's throne it falleth

When to Thee I go.

Mercy flowing, swift pursuing
Like a river strong,

Sympathizing with my weakness;

Mercy suff'ring long.

Mercy calling with compassion:

"Oh, return to Me!"

Wounded are the hands extended;

Loving is the plea.

How can I refuse Thy mercy?
Whither would I flee?

From my idol shrine I turn Lord,

Reaching up to Thee.

Tender mercy of the Savior,

Gently drawing nigh;

With the blood that cleanseth sinners,

Ready to apply.

Gracious Lord, Thy mercy filleth

All the earth, below;

And from heaven's throne it falleth

When to Thee I go.