Psalm 90

This Psalm is actually a prayer of Moses. So many good things are in this chapter. I recommend all of you reading it at least once and just open your heart to what God would have you to learn from it. The Psalm starts out with a great verse. "LORD, thou hast been our dwelling place in all generations." Our dwelling place. The word dwell means "to remain for a time" or "to live as a resident." To think of God as my dwelling place...isn't possible. Honestly, God isn't my dwelling place. But He should be. I should be in His Word and living for Him so much that He is my dwelling place. But, He's not...yet. I'm hoping and really striving to change that. The next thing in this chapter that really hits home and really opened my eyes was verses 4-12 (or thereabouts). These verses talk of how a thousand years to us, is but one day to God. And verse 12 says, "So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom." Number our days. In the book I'm going through with the Psalms, there's a suggestion to see how many days you have already lived. And if the Lord allows you to live to be 70...that's about 25,550 days...how many days do you have left? How are you going to live those days? Yeah, it may seem like a lot of days left...but we never know when God will call us home. I've heard lots of messages on this topic about not wasting your life and making every day count for Christ. But until today, my eyes weren't that open about the subject. I surrendered today and prayed that God would help me use every day to honor and glorify HIM and Him alone. A day isn't worth living...if it's not for Christ.

I also read another chapter in the book "The Calvary Road." Again, it was amazing. The title of the chapter is "The Dove and the Lamb." In this chapter, Roy Hession talks about Christ being both. He starts off by using the verse John 1:29, "...behold the Lamb of God which taketh away the sin of the world." As John baptized Jesus, the heavens opened and the Spirit of God descended like a Dove. Roy Hession goes on to talk about these animals picturing Christ's humility. Had Christ not been pictured as a Lamb with humility, submissiveness, and self-surrender, the Dove couldn't have rested upon Him. The Dove would have been frightened if the Lamb wasn't so gentle. This is how we are to be. Just like the Lamb. If we are like the Lamb, then the Dove (the Holy Spirit) can come and abide in us. He can't rest upon us while we aren't broken for Him. Roy Hession gives 5 dispositions of the Lamb. He states that the Lamb is simple (having no plans of helping itself), shorn (willing to be shorn of His rights, His reputation, and every human liberty that was due to Him, just as a lamb is shorn of its wool), silent (while he was facing all that the mockers said to Him that day on the cross, "He answered nothing."), spotless (nothing but love was in His heart that day), and the substitute (taking OUR place on that cross to die a horrible death) lamb. To think of MY sins on that cross with MY Savior...He bore MY horrible and awful sins...so that I may be in Heaven one day. He didn't have to, but He did. He doesn't have to still bear EVERY horrible sin I commit...but He does. Roy Hession gives a little illustration to help us all see Christ carrying our sins. The illustration says that there was a saintly African Christian and one day, as he was climbing up a hill, he heard footsteps behind him. He turned and saw a Man carrying a very heavy load up the hill on his back. As he looked closer, he saw scars on His hands and realized it was Jesus. This man said to Him, "Lord, are you carrying the sins of the world up this hill?" "No," replied Jesus, "not the world's sin, just yours!" At first, this may seem kind of odd to hear, but truly think about it. Christ carrying YOUR sins. MY sins. My heart broke as I read this and realized how many of my sins He was carrying. My prayer is for God to break me and make me more like Him. Look to the cross.

Not I, but Christ

I'm reading the book "The Calvary Road." I have to say that it is the biggest encouragement and rebuke I have had in a while. This book needs to be on your must read list, especially if you have never read it. The first chapter starts off talking about brokenness. In this fist chapter, Roy Hession states that in order for us to have a right relationship with Christ, our will must be broken. We must say, "Not I, but Christ." Christ cannot live in us and have Himself shown through us, until we get rid of our selfishness. There is so much more I could say on the other chapters, but this one part of this one chapter just grabbed my heart. If you truly think about it, we all are so selfish. We want things our way, even when our way isn't what is best or even right. I find this so often in my own life. My selfishness even reared its ugly head at a time when I should have been SO unselfish, and it actually cost me some great things. I have let selfishness into my life too much and too often. Yet, it's one of the hardest things to really get rid of in your life. We're humans. We'll always want things our way. But until we allow God to break us, and we do our part as well, this selfishness will come many more times. No, I don't think we'll ever be able to get rid of our selfishness, at least until we get to Heaven. But, once we allow God to truly break us, and let HIM have control of it all, we won't be able to completely used by Him. Brokenness. Seems easy. But it's not. We try to live the Christian life by ourselves. Without God. Yet it is impossible to truly serve God and live this life without Him. Roy Hession talks of Christ being so broken to do what His Father had called Him to do. In Psalm 22 verse 6, The Bible tells us that Christ said, "I am a worm, and no man." Roy Hession goes on to talk of Christ becoming as a worm. When you think about it, worms are a picture of total brokenness. You can squash them and they don't fight back. You can do what you want with it and they don't have any resistance. We should be just like that. Allowing God to do what He wants with us, without any resistance. I don't know about you, but that is certainly something hard to ask of someone. I want these certain things done my way...but a few other things, God can do His way. But, we have to be completely surrendered and broken for God to do whatever He wants with all of us. I'm hoping to daily make my prayer that it will be not I, but Christ in everything.

Remembering God

Some of you that read this, will have already heard this message. But to those few that didn't get the privilege to hear it, here it is. This week, Evangelist Will Galkin is preaching for our Evangelistic meetings. He's only preached 2 messages, but they have both been AMAZING. Last night's message was this one, Remembering God. He preached from Ecclesiastes 11:9-12:1. Chapter 12 verse 1 says, "Remember now, thy Creator in the days of thy youth, while the evil days come not, nor the years draw nigh, when thou shalt say, I have no pleasure in them;" He talked about how we can forget that we have a Creator and a God, that He is good, that He will judge us, that we're growing older, and that we will die. We forget God in our daily lives so often. I know that I do. This was such a rebuke to me last night, especially when he said, "You will be what you are becoming." He said, "You don't just wake up one morning a prayer warrior." And this is so true! If we want to have a close personal walk with Christ, we have to start NOW. If we do want to be a prayer warrior, we have to start now, and not only start...but keep up with it! To hear him speak, is very eye-opening. He talked at the beginning of just living in awe of God's presence. What would that be like, if every day, we were just in AWE of God and His presence? How amazing would our walk with Him be?! But, how much of our lives, have we wasted? That's a point that he kept saying over and over again last night: Don't waste your life!! And in different things, much of my life has been wasted. And it hurts me to think of that and realize that my life has been wasted. And last night, I prayed that God would help me to not waste the rest of my life...but to life it for Him and let every day count for HIM. Not me. I'm so excited about the rest of this week. It's going to be an AMAZING week, I'm sure. God's going to continue to do great things.

On another high note, my Pastor's lung surgery went well and he's recovering nicely. Praise the Lord! He's such an awesome God, how could we ever doubt Him?! Classes started today and so far, it's gone well. I'm excited about what the semester holds. God knows what's best, and He will do what will glorify Him. Praise Him for that!

Well, I think I've rambled enough for now. Maybe I'll have something else to write soon...we'll see. Oh yeah...I get to see Beth Rebert (and Breleigh!!!) tomorrow night at church. I'm SUPER excited. CanNOT wait.

Many thoughts

I have so many things on my mind right now. And it's hard to sort them all out. Most thoughts aren't too confusing...yet, I feel so confused about them all! I know in time, God will sort them out and I will know the answers to them all, but that waiting period is the roughest.

The loan went through and so thankfully, I get to go up to MBBC in 1 week. Actually a little less than 1 week now. I'll be leaving mid-afternoon on Thursday. I'm excited. I want to go. Real bad! So, thankfully I'll be going. I can't believe it came so fast. It seems like the beginning of summer was just yesterday. But, I'm so glad it's here now.

I have come to the realization that I am a failure. I'm a failure in my relationship with God. I'm a failure in my relationships here on earth. I'm just a failure at so many things. Why does that surprise me? I don't know. It shouldn't. I don't take enough time to work at my relationships...so it shouldn't surprise me when I realize I'm a failure. What can I do differently to NOT be a failure? Try harder, I guess. Discipline myself. Work at it. I don't know. I have brought this upon myself, so only I can "fix" it. God remains faithful to me even when I'm SO unfaithful to Him. And my earthly relationships...well, I'm still so unfaithful to them. It's almost like, I don't care and don't want it. But, I DO!!! After next week, I'll be away from home, away from my comfort zone, away from my "normal" surroundings. And all I will have are those few relationships I remain faithful to. And that hurts that I've brought on so much of it myself...knowing that I'm the one that needs to take care of it all. Today would be a good day to start off, right? Maybe I will. No, no maybe. I will!

Short update

It's been a couple of days since I've updated, and there's no real change on my Pastor's situation. He's in a real hospital room now (before he was just in recovery with several other people) and is sedated most of the time because of pain. He will go in for lung surgery some time this week. The lung surgery will be harder on his body than the brain surgery, so it will probably take longer for his healing process with that. But God remains so good to us as all.

I have nothing else really to talk about now...which is a shocker! But, it's true. Nothing else "blog-worthy" has happened. Maybe soon it will.

God is good.

This phrase has had more meaning to me in the last couple of days than it ever has before...although it should have the same meaning all the time!

Last night, I found out that my Pastor got through his surgery very well and is now recovering...with only the little bit of cancer left on his lungs. The brain tumor came back benign! Last night was a definite time for rejoicing. He will have surgery on his lungs to remove the cancer sometime next week.

This has really made me think about not taking my Pastor for granted. He is such a godly man that I do admire and respect so much...and I can't imagine church without him. It's been odd to not have him here, but knowing he's going to be alright, helps.

Another way God has been good in my life is that Wednesday night, my dad told me that we, once again, may not have the money to send me to college. I was a little disappointed. But, through praying and relying on God to provide how he saw fit, I was at peace knowing that He is in control. I found that I might possibly have a job if I'm here (and it's not for certain that I'm going yet...the loan has to be fully approved first!), which is a blessing. Last night, my dad told me that the loan was pre-approved, but I'm waiting to know for sure.

I'm super excited about college. I can't wait. I'm so ready to be a teacher...I wish I could now. But, God knows what's best. Thankfully, I've been able to use this time especially to grow closer to God.

Praise God for His grace!

To God Be The Glory

Tonight was one of the hardest church services to attend. We at church found out that our Pastor has stage 4 lung cancer. This is the highest stage and many do not survive it. On the plus side, tomorrow he will have a PET scan taken. Sorry, I don't know exactly what a PET scan is, but it will tell the doctors if there is any more cancer in his body. If there isn't, they will go in and remove the grape-sized tumor in his brain and this should bring him down to stage 1 cancer.

God is so good though. He remains faithful and gracious. I know God's hand is over Pastor Crockett right now, and that God has His perfect plan already for him. But as a human, I can't help but wonder why. I'm trying to ask more of, "What can I learn from this?" than a "Why is this happening?" It's hard, but God is my strength. Please pray for him and his family right now. The comfort they need is can come only from God. He will be glorified in whatever He allows to happen.

Update on my Pastor

Hey friends! Those of you that read this and prayed for my Pastor, I thank you. Not much progress has really been made. The doctors found in the CAT scan that he has another tumor in his lung. The one in his brain is about the size of a grape, the one in the lung is a little bigger. The doctors are waiting for the results on the biopsy they did earlier on the tumor on his lung. We don't know yet if these tumors are malignant or benign. Please pray for him. As I said before, I know God is in complete control over what happens to him, and I have no doubt in my mind He will do what's best. But the family really needs prayer to stay strong in this time.

Other things are on my mind at this time...too many things to write down at once. God remains faithful...as I know He always will.

Prayer Request

This post won't be long. I have an important prayer request to share with you. I found out today that my Pastor at church has a brain tumor. Specialists will be contacted as to what to do for him. He's in good spirits, witnessing to the nurses and doctors, and is confident that God will, in His sovereignty, use this to best glorify Himself. I know that however God has this planned out, He will be in control of it..as He's always in control of everything. Please pray for him and his family at this time, as well as for the doctors to know what to do.

Weekend off

What a weekend! I was up in Watertown from Friday night until early this afternoon. It was an amazing time! Church yesterday was good...and relaxing! I'm so used to going and going on Sundays "working"...or I should say "serving" at church in every area possible, and it was SO nice to just sit and hear good preaching instead of always on the go for different things. Don't get me wrong. I love my church...but it was...well, I'll just leave that there! I'm super excited about college starting soon. I know...you're probably thinking, "You're really crazy!" But, since I've been out for a semester, I honestly miss it. It's going to be great. MBBC is a great college and I really liked Watertown. So, I'm sure I'll survive somehow!

Next Friday is the last day of my summer job. I'm SO happy, yet kind of sad. Hopefully this will be my last summer working there, and I will truly miss the kids. I have an adorable picture of one of them...unfortunately, it's on my phone. And I have yet to figure out how to put that on here. So, you'll just have to ask me about it sometime if you really want to see it. The kids are sweet and I love them dearly, but it's time to be done and continue on with life. Away from the kids. This summer has gone fast, and I couldn't be happier! Yeah, I know I'm crazy for wanting summer to end and school to start, but that's just how it goes!

Well, I'm going to bed now. I'm tired from the trip back home. I really liked that "extra" hour I had up there...but I'll get it back soon (I hope). Goodnight all!

Desperately Dependent

This morning at church, a group from Maranatha came for our morning service. I can't even begin to tell you how it blessed me. They sang several songs and each one of them was one of my favorites. God really used these songs to open my heart and prepare it for the preaching of His Word. Then, a student at MBBC, Nick Peterson, preached. That message was just what I needed to hear. He used the whole passage of Psalm 63.

1 O God, thou art my God; early will I seek thee: my soul thirsteth for thee, my flesh longeth for thee in a dry and thirsty land, where no water is;

2 To see thy power and thy glory, so as I have seen thee in the sanctuary.

3 Because thy lovingkindness is better than life, my lips shall praise thee.

4 Thus will I bless thee while I live: I will lift up my hands in thy name.

5 My soul shall be satisfied as with marrow and fatness; and my mouth shall praise thee with joyful lips:

6 When I remember thee upon my bed, and meditate on thee in the night watches.

7 Because thou hast been my help, therefore in the shadow of thy wings will I rejoice.

8 My soul followeth hard after thee: thy right hand upholdeth me.

9 But those that seek my soul, to destroy it, shall go into the lower parts of the earth.

10 They shall fall by the sword: they shall be a portion for foxes.

11 But the king shall rejoice in God; every one that sweareth by him shall glory: but the mouth of them that speak lies shall be stopped.

He went on to talk about how we are dependent upon God...or at least we should be. In this passage, Nick talked about our dependent relationship with God should be desperate, it is protective, and we should be thankful. In this passage, we see that that in verse 1, David says that his soul thirsteth and his flesh longeth for God. It made me think, do I REALLY long for God? Does my soul really thirst for what His Word says and for Him? I can't honestly say that I do. To think about how thirsty I am after being hot or something and that is how thirsty I should be for God and learning more about Him. My soul should just LONG for him. Wow...what a rebuke. Then to talk of how God protects us. How His right hand upholds us and we are in the shadow of His wings...to feel that protected. He used the illustration of being afraid of monsters under his bed and how they were there when he was lone in his room...but in his parents room, they all disappeared. I remember how those big bad thunderstorms that always happened when I was younger, they weren't so bad in my parent's room. God is that protective of us. As our Father, He protects us and keeps us from the harm that's out there. We can have shelter while we're going through the trials He has allowed us to go through. He is our Abba Father, and is our help in time of need. Wow...it's so wonderful to sit back and think of God as a true Father to us. And lastly, to talk of how we should be thankful. In verses 3, 5, 7, and 11 it talks of how we should praise Him and thank Him for what He does. I don't thank God nearly enough. He has truly done so much for me that no amount of thanks could ever repay Him. But, I try to! Thanking Him is something I try to do...but fail to do so often.

It's incredible to sit and think about God in His...awesomeness...shows us His love and protects us. It's mind boggling to think of His love and just how deep it is. My love for God is not even close to His love for me. With His help, I'm going to strive to truly love Him more with each passing day. The sang we closed the service with was "More Love to Thee" and I think that's one of my favorite songs now! I have so many! But really think of these words. I want my prayer to be, more love to Thee, o Christ!

More love to Thee, O Christ, more love to Thee!
Hear Thou the prayer I make on bended knee.
This is my earnest plea: More love, O Christ, to Thee;
More love to Thee, more love to Thee!

Once earthly joy I craved, sought peace and rest;
Now Thee alone I seek, give what is best.
This all my prayer shall be: More love, O Christ to Thee;
More love to Thee, more love to Thee!

Let sorrow do its work, come grief or pain;
Sweet are Thy messengers, sweet their refrain,
When they can sing with me: More love, O Christ, to Thee;
More love to Thee, more love to Thee!

Then shall my latest breath whisper Thy praise;
This be the parting cry my heart shall raise;
This still its prayer shall be: More love, O Christ to Thee;
More love to Thee, more love to Thee!

15 minutes early

Hey friends!

It's been a little while since I've updated on here...so I think I shall in the 15 minutes before I have to go to work. I still have a Xanga account...and I sort of still keep up with that. (If you want to read that go to www.xanga.com/bellinaprincipessa) Anyway, I updated there last night and I am going to say much of the same thing. God has really opened my eyes to see just how selfish I truly am. I'm stepping out on a limb here and am going to be transparent with you all. I've always had a major struggle with having my devotions. It's not that I don't have the want to read my Bible and draw closer to God. It's that I haven't disciplined myself to not be selfish with the time God has given me. Instead of waking up just 15 minutes earlier, I think..."Oh yes! I have 15 more minutes I can sleep!" Instead of turning off the TV I think about how badly I need to watch this meaningless TV show or movie (not that there is really anything good on TV any more anyways). But God has really rebuked me about this. I can't help but think, "He died for me...why can't I give Him just 15 minutes?" Yes, it should be more, but 15 minutes is not long at all. Why can't I give Him just that?!!?! Because I'm selfish and self-centered. I want things to be done when I want them. If I want to sleep instead of reading my Bible...I will. But why? Why can't I be self-less when it comes to my Savior? Doesn't He deserve better? Of course He does. And I'm so unworthy of His love. That love that STILL loves me, even when I am like this and totally focused on me. Wow...He still loves me. Praise God for that!! With His help, I'm truly going to work at thinking less of me and thinking way more of Him. I want that desire to truly know Him. I want to be able to not get enough of Him and reading His Word. I want to be on FIRE for Him. And with His strength, since I am nothing without Him, I think I'll be able to do it.

God's also been showing me that the transfer from BJ to MBBC is going to be a good thing. It will be better than I'm making it out to be! And, He's truly giving me a heart to be somewhere else...soon. I'm not sure where that will be...but the uncertainty is kind of exciting. I can say with confidence that He's giving me a desire to do something different next summer, instead of this job I'm doing now. And, that really excites me. I want to know what it will be, but I'm content with waiting.

Work is unfortunately calling my name. So I guess that's all for now!

Mysterious Ways

God works in mysterious ways. Ways that I would really love to know about. I want so badly to ask Him, "Why?" but I know in my heart, He's done it for His own glory. Oh...if only I could get rid of this pain in my heart about not knowing the answer. And the pain of something happening that was out of my control. God knows what's best...I know. But, sometimes, it's just so hard to see that.

Well, on a different note...today was a nice day. I hung out with my sister. We went to the Muncie Mall and ate at Auntie Anne's (its' a pretzel place...in case you didn't know!!!) and it was yummy! We also went to the library and got some books and stuff. Now we're home getting ready to eat dinner. I'm ready for tomorrow. I'll be able to be in my Sunday School class again. I would've enjoyed teaching the K5 boys...if I ever had any! So, I always missed my class. Now, we're combining the boys and girls, so I won't be teaching. And, I'll actually be in the service! I'm not in Junior Church (that I know of) so I'll actually get to sing in choir again and hear most of the message. Yay! Sundays are the best. Then it's back to work again on Monday. Speaking of work...we went on a field trip this past Thursday to the Children's Museum in Muncie. It was SO awesome! The kids loved it and they were able to do so much! That place is so cool. And what's best...I didn't even had to watch the kids. They could run free, not have to clean up after themselves, and I didn't have to keep my eye on them. It was great! I'm definitely going back there sometime!

I got a letter from one of my friends that moved to Pennsylvania. She's doing well. Her baby is due next Sunday (the 9th) and I can't wait to see pictures of her. As far as I know, they are naming her Breleigh Grace. The name might grow on me!:)

Well, I better get off here now. It's about that time! Later friends!

Colorado

On July 7th, I'll be flying out to see my best friend Lindsay Weinholdt in Colorado. I'm SUPER excited. I canNOT wait! It's going to be so much fun. I'll treasure every second of it! I just wanted to let you all know (to anyone that really reads this!) my excitement on this. Yay! Can't wait!

Much to say...not enough words

Well, I tried to update the other day, but my computer did something funny to erase it. Anyway, I'll update now...although, I'm warning you now, it could be long! I updated a few days ago to talk about God leading in different and new directions. As most of you know, God called me away from BJ and is leading me up to Maranatha in August. I couldn't be happier. I'm truly excited about going to college there. As for the other direction...well, I'm not too sure about that one yet. I work at a summer daycare and have for the past 4 summers. It's wonderful. I love the kids...the atmosphere...the aspect of teaching kids some things they have never been taught before and seeing that light come on in their eyes that they finally get something or that new piece of information has been told to them and they love it. I absolutely love the children I'm around every day (though some of them do get annoying) and wouldn't change it for the world. Yet, I can't help but feel the tug at my heart for something else, something...different. It has been a dream of mine to work at a camp. I love camp. LOVE it. When I worked at my church camp, I was so sad to see the day come that we had to go. I really miss going to the camp my school used to go to the first week of school. I just miss camp altogether. I want to work a summer at camp...at least once. I'm praying God will lead me there. Who knows where? There are some really good ones. Northland is a big one...CoBeAc is really good...Lucerne is another good one (though being all the way in California is a little hard), and then the Wilds is another great one. I'm sure there are several other ones that are out there. I just want it once. I'm praying God will lead me that way...IF it's His will. I would gladly do the summer daycare again. I'm just...burnt out on it. I need a break from it. 4 summers is a pretty long time to keep doing the same thing over and over again. A break would be nice. Hopefully, I'll get one. But, if not...I'll just thank the Lord for a good job that pays.

On another note...I will hopefully get to see my best friend in a couple weeks. I'll be flying out to Colorado to see Lindsay. I can't wait. I haven't seen her since January when I left BJ and I miss her like crazy! I need to see her and talk with her...face to face. I hope God will work it all out. I just need to make sure the days I have free are ok with her family and then the plane ticket! So, just a little bit more and then we'll see. I can't wait. I've never been to Colorado, so it'll be nice to see some of it and be with Lindz. It'll be amazing.

God has been truly amazing. Especially here recently. He's really shown me more about him. Tonight at church, Pastor Kevin Plew preached. He was one of my first high school (ok, so it was really junior high, but it's practically the same!) teachers. I always enjoyed his teaching and when he spoke. Tonight was no exception. He spoke on being separate from the world and how we as Christians need to be in the world but not of the world. It was something I really needed. A message that I had been trying to forget. I was trying to live as close to the world as I could while still being a "Christian." Well, tonight I really got rebuked and am slowly learning about separating myself. It was a great message that I needed. God has also been teaching so much through different things. My devotions, other people that I respect, and just different circumstances He's brought into my life. It's been a trying time...but a time I won't ever take for granted. God's giving me such a passion to serve God in whatever area He's calling me to. More and more I can feel the tug to go elsewhere, besides Anderson, Indiana to serve Him, and I really want to follow Him. I can't wait to see where He does lead me. It'll be interesting...but I'm excited.

This isn't as long as I thought it would be. That's a good thing! My day starts at 4:30 tomorrow morning, so I'm going to bed. Goodnight all!

A Challenge

It's been a little while since I've updated here. Sorry friends. I've been busy getting started with work and getting ready for my sister coming home. She's flying from Philadelphia right now to Chicago and my dad will pick her up in Merriville. I'm excited for her to be home. The first week of work went very well. The kids we had are great. And this week, we'll even get a few new ones. As I previously mentioned Quentin Blount...I will talk about him again. Friday night I closed at work. I stayed until 5:30 when Quentin's Mom's...someone came to pick him up. But, I had a good 20 minutes alone with Quentin. He tried to worm his way into treats, but I couldn't give him any since he had been bad. But, I did give him a piggy-back ride around the school. He really enjoyed that. I did too. I really love him. He's honestly so rotten, but, he's captured my heart. I have been praising the Lord all week for giving me a love for children. I only hope that one day, I may influence some children to live their lives for God.

I really want to teach Kindergarten. It was because of my Kindergarten (and 1st grade) teacher that I wanted to go into teaching. Yes, I knew at that young of an age that I wanted to be a teacher. And I still can't imagine doing anything else. I work with 1st-3rd graders this month in Jr. Church at my church and it's the best. The kids are so well behaved and they have a thirst for hearing God's word preached to them on their level. It's wonderful to see God working in children at that age. Every time I'm around kids, I can't help but thank Him for this desire and gift He has given me. I love it!

Well, enough about that. Some of you that read this may or may not know that I used to listen to CC and even some country music. Now, I don't want to get into any sort of discussion...especially on one of these things, but I did want to share what God did in my life. I was thinking about music and how it really is a big part of my life. I realized that I was...well, addicted to CCM. I couldn't go anywhere without having the radio on or a CD in or something. I was then challenged to go one week without listening to anything except Christian...true Christian music. Things that I've gotten from BJ or people when they came and visited my church. I was challenged to see what it would do to my walk with Christ. I had said that it doesn't matter what music you listen to, as long as your walk with God was right. So, I figured it wouldn't be a big deal. I didn't think anything would change. I earnestly prayed that God would change my heart. And I wasn't even a day into my challenge before I honestly felt a huge difference in my walk with God. I've gotten rid of any CCM or country CDs I owned and now, have a deeper, more personal walk with God. I can't describe the feelings other than complete joy and happiness...not to mention the feeling of a burden being lifted off of my shoulders. God has since shown me other things in my life that I needed to change. I never thought I could be so eager to change for God...but I am.

I challenge you to earnestly pray for God to show you anything wrong in your life. Whether it's in the area of music or not...it doesn't matter. We always need to be changing to be more like Christ. Let Him truly work in your life to change you. He wants to. Let Him.

I want to mention again that I don't want to start a big discussion on music or anything. I wanted to share what God had done in me. What He chooses to do with this, is His plan.

"Break up my fallow ground..."

Wondrous Love

O wondrous love, that will not let me go,
I cling to You with all my strength and soul.
Yet if my hold should ever fail,
This wondrous love, will never let me go.

O wondrous love that's come to dwell in me!
Lord, who am I that I should come to know
Your tender voice, assuring me,
Your wondrous love will never let me go?

I'm resting in the everlasting arms,
In the ever-faithful heart,
The Shepherd of my life.
You carry me on Your mighty wings of grace,
Keeping me until the day I look into Your eyes.

O wondrous love, that sings of Calvary,
The sweetest sound this sinner's ever known;
The song of Your redeeming Son,
Whose wondrous love will never let me go.

I'm resting in the everlasting arms,
In the ever-faithful heart,
The Shepherd of my life.
You carry me on Your mighty wings of grace,
Keeping me until the day I look into Your eyes.

O wondrous love that rushes over me,
I can't escape this river's glorious flow.
You overwhelm my days with good.
Your wondrous love will never let me go.

O wondrous love, O wondrous love.
Will never let me go.

This song brings tears to my eyes every time I listen to it. Just to think of God's truly wondrous love to ME...it's indescribable. I can't believe He loves me that much. An unworthy, filthy sinner...yet HE LOVES ME!! I just can't comprehend that. Why would He love me? Why would God love me SO much, He'd send His precious, sinless Son to die MY death? I have yet to understand this. But, I guess that's just what love is. Something you can't comprehend.

I was thinking about God's love today while at work. The kids I work with are truly a blessing. They are some of the sweetest kids I've ever had. One boy had gotten in trouble SO much (yes, I had been a mean one and had disciplined him as best I could while working) and after I had done so, he told someone that I didn't love him any more. I realized then, that yes, I had done my "job" at disciplining him, but I wasn't showing my love for him. So, I went over and talked to him, letting him know how much I do love him, and just wanted him to obey. He then gave me a big hug and said, "I love you, Miss Lisa!" Now, I know to most, that doesn't seem like much, but to me, that meant so much to hear those words come from his mouth. As soon as I get a picture of him, I'll put him on here. His name is Quentin Blount (or just Quentin B) and has a very messed up home life. His dad is in jail yet again and his mom is an alcoholic and doesn't have structure for him. He has learned so much while being here at this school, and I can't thank God enough for that, although he still has a long way to go. But, no matter how bad he is, I love him.

Today was the last day of the school year, which means the summer DayCare starts Tuesday! But it also means that a couple that is very dear to me is leaving that same day to move to Pennsylvania. God has called him there to be a youth pastor (and father in July!!!), so I know they're in God's will. That doesn't help the pain of not having them around any more...but God's in control. They're having a girl due on July 9. I will definitely post a picture of her up here!

Well, my root canal went well today. I was actually pain free during the whole process. But after the numbing medicine wore off...OUCH! But, Tylenol worked wonders! Soon, I'll have my crown put on and be done with it! That's exciting!

My sister is in Chicago. She and 4 of her students and 1 of her best friends are going to Europe this summer. I am so jealous...but I do need to work. But, instead of flying out tonight as they were supposed to, they got caught in a traffic jam (imagine that in Chicago!!!) and missed their flight. They'll head out actually on Sunday. I'm sure they'll all have a great time!

This update is longer than I thought it would be! But, my mom and I are gonna "hang out" tonight, so I shall go. I challenge you all to truly think about the love of God this weekend. Dwell upon it. I'm sure it'll be something you won't regret!

On another note...

I decided to put up one more picture on here. I love this picture. Here it is...

This is me and Danny George (my absolute FAVORITE kid and the one with glasses) and his older brother Joey. Yes, their brothers to Matt George in the previous post. I've taught both of them this past semester and while Danny is my favorite, Joey is close behind him!!

Ok, so enough of the pictures! I have to have a root canal on Friday, so I'm in for a little bit of pain there. I'll be glad to get it over with! My tooth has hurt long enough! I'll never take for granted not have a toothache or any sort of tooth related pain. It is the worst! But, God knows what He's doing, so I know I'll be ok. My summer job starts on Tuesday. I can't wait! It's going to be great! God has done some pretty awesome things in my life recently. He never ceases to amaze me with just how good He is. I keep seeing it over and over again. What a truly awesome God we serve! I would love to write more, but time is getting away from me. I have an early, yet fun filled day tomorrow, so I need my rest. Goodnight all and I promise the next update will be sooner!

Graduation 2006

Yes, I know Graduation was Friday, and it's not Wednesday, but I just not got around to getting this pictures up. Enjoy them!




Matt George. He has become one of my good friends these past few years.











Elizabeth Plumb. She is one of my best friends! I love her so much!












Aw...what can I say about Joel Doty?! He's a great guy. We've had some fun times!!
























Where do I begin with him? Ryan Shackelford was my best friend my senior year. He was there for me when nobody else was. He's dating Jill Delaney...one of my GREAT friends...so we don't really hang out any more. But, he's still one of my best friends!

I've got some good friends I'll really miss next year, but as I was told my senior year, "If you're true friends, you'll always stay that way." So, I'm sure to be seeing these guys again some day!

Short and sweet...with more to come

Yes, this will be short, because it's late. But I wanted to write and say how awesome my God is. In every minute of every day, I see His hand and see His power so much. He is amazing. Today, my eyes were truly fixed on Him and His creation. So many things came into my mind about Him. He is such an awesome God...truly awesome. I was listening to a CD the other day on my way to Barnes and Noble. This song came on and I was literally in tears as I was driving. The words really speak to me about Christ's death on the cross. Here are the lyrics. Read them, and hopefully tomorrow I'll be able to update more. Goodnight all!

How wide is Your love
That You would stretch Your arms
And go around the world
And why for me would a Savior's cry be heard

I don't know
Why You went where I was meant to go
I don't know
Why You love me so

Those were my nails
That was my crown
That pierced Your hands and Your brow
Those were my thorns
Those were my scorns
Those were my tears that fell down
And just as You said it would be
You did it all for me
After You counted the cost
You took my shame, my blame
On my cross

How deep is Your grace
That you could see my need
And chose to take my place
And then for me, these words I'd hear You say

Father no
Forgive them for they know not what they do
I will go
Because I love them so