What a weekend! I was up in Watertown from Friday night until early this afternoon. It was an amazing time! Church yesterday was good...and relaxing! I'm so used to going and going on Sundays "working"...or I should say "serving" at church in every area possible, and it was SO nice to just sit and hear good preaching instead of always on the go for different things. Don't get me wrong. I love my church...but it was...well, I'll just leave that there! I'm super excited about college starting soon. I know...you're probably thinking, "You're really crazy!" But, since I've been out for a semester, I honestly miss it. It's going to be great. MBBC is a great college and I really liked Watertown. So, I'm sure I'll survive somehow!
Next Friday is the last day of my summer job. I'm SO happy, yet kind of sad. Hopefully this will be my last summer working there, and I will truly miss the kids. I have an adorable picture of one of them...unfortunately, it's on my phone. And I have yet to figure out how to put that on here. So, you'll just have to ask me about it sometime if you really want to see it. The kids are sweet and I love them dearly, but it's time to be done and continue on with life. Away from the kids. This summer has gone fast, and I couldn't be happier! Yeah, I know I'm crazy for wanting summer to end and school to start, but that's just how it goes!
Well, I'm going to bed now. I'm tired from the trip back home. I really liked that "extra" hour I had up there...but I'll get it back soon (I hope). Goodnight all!
Monday, July 31, 2006
Sunday, July 16, 2006
Desperately Dependent
This morning at church, a group from Maranatha came for our morning service. I can't even begin to tell you how it blessed me. They sang several songs and each one of them was one of my favorites. God really used these songs to open my heart and prepare it for the preaching of His Word. Then, a student at MBBC, Nick Peterson, preached. That message was just what I needed to hear. He used the whole passage of Psalm 63.
1 O God, thou art my God; early will I seek thee: my soul thirsteth for thee, my flesh longeth for thee in a dry and thirsty land, where no water is;
2 To see thy power and thy glory, so as I have seen thee in the sanctuary.
3 Because thy lovingkindness is better than life, my lips shall praise thee.
4 Thus will I bless thee while I live: I will lift up my hands in thy name.
5 My soul shall be satisfied as with marrow and fatness; and my mouth shall praise thee with joyful lips:
6 When I remember thee upon my bed, and meditate on thee in the night watches.
7 Because thou hast been my help, therefore in the shadow of thy wings will I rejoice.
8 My soul followeth hard after thee: thy right hand upholdeth me.
9 But those that seek my soul, to destroy it, shall go into the lower parts of the earth.
10 They shall fall by the sword: they shall be a portion for foxes.
11 But the king shall rejoice in God; every one that sweareth by him shall glory: but the mouth of them that speak lies shall be stopped.
He went on to talk about how we are dependent upon God...or at least we should be. In this passage, Nick talked about our dependent relationship with God should be desperate, it is protective, and we should be thankful. In this passage, we see that that in verse 1, David says that his soul thirsteth and his flesh longeth for God. It made me think, do I REALLY long for God? Does my soul really thirst for what His Word says and for Him? I can't honestly say that I do. To think about how thirsty I am after being hot or something and that is how thirsty I should be for God and learning more about Him. My soul should just LONG for him. Wow...what a rebuke. Then to talk of how God protects us. How His right hand upholds us and we are in the shadow of His wings...to feel that protected. He used the illustration of being afraid of monsters under his bed and how they were there when he was lone in his room...but in his parents room, they all disappeared. I remember how those big bad thunderstorms that always happened when I was younger, they weren't so bad in my parent's room. God is that protective of us. As our Father, He protects us and keeps us from the harm that's out there. We can have shelter while we're going through the trials He has allowed us to go through. He is our Abba Father, and is our help in time of need. Wow...it's so wonderful to sit back and think of God as a true Father to us. And lastly, to talk of how we should be thankful. In verses 3, 5, 7, and 11 it talks of how we should praise Him and thank Him for what He does. I don't thank God nearly enough. He has truly done so much for me that no amount of thanks could ever repay Him. But, I try to! Thanking Him is something I try to do...but fail to do so often.
It's incredible to sit and think about God in His...awesomeness...shows us His love and protects us. It's mind boggling to think of His love and just how deep it is. My love for God is not even close to His love for me. With His help, I'm going to strive to truly love Him more with each passing day. The sang we closed the service with was "More Love to Thee" and I think that's one of my favorite songs now! I have so many! But really think of these words. I want my prayer to be, more love to Thee, o Christ!
More love to Thee, O Christ, more love to Thee!
Hear Thou the prayer I make on bended knee.
This is my earnest plea: More love, O Christ, to Thee;
More love to Thee, more love to Thee!
Once earthly joy I craved, sought peace and rest;
Now Thee alone I seek, give what is best.
This all my prayer shall be: More love, O Christ to Thee;
More love to Thee, more love to Thee!
Let sorrow do its work, come grief or pain;
Sweet are Thy messengers, sweet their refrain,
When they can sing with me: More love, O Christ, to Thee;
More love to Thee, more love to Thee!
Then shall my latest breath whisper Thy praise;
This be the parting cry my heart shall raise;
This still its prayer shall be: More love, O Christ to Thee;
More love to Thee, more love to Thee!
1 O God, thou art my God; early will I seek thee: my soul thirsteth for thee, my flesh longeth for thee in a dry and thirsty land, where no water is;
2 To see thy power and thy glory, so as I have seen thee in the sanctuary.
3 Because thy lovingkindness is better than life, my lips shall praise thee.
4 Thus will I bless thee while I live: I will lift up my hands in thy name.
5 My soul shall be satisfied as with marrow and fatness; and my mouth shall praise thee with joyful lips:
6 When I remember thee upon my bed, and meditate on thee in the night watches.
7 Because thou hast been my help, therefore in the shadow of thy wings will I rejoice.
8 My soul followeth hard after thee: thy right hand upholdeth me.
9 But those that seek my soul, to destroy it, shall go into the lower parts of the earth.
10 They shall fall by the sword: they shall be a portion for foxes.
11 But the king shall rejoice in God; every one that sweareth by him shall glory: but the mouth of them that speak lies shall be stopped.
He went on to talk about how we are dependent upon God...or at least we should be. In this passage, Nick talked about our dependent relationship with God should be desperate, it is protective, and we should be thankful. In this passage, we see that that in verse 1, David says that his soul thirsteth and his flesh longeth for God. It made me think, do I REALLY long for God? Does my soul really thirst for what His Word says and for Him? I can't honestly say that I do. To think about how thirsty I am after being hot or something and that is how thirsty I should be for God and learning more about Him. My soul should just LONG for him. Wow...what a rebuke. Then to talk of how God protects us. How His right hand upholds us and we are in the shadow of His wings...to feel that protected. He used the illustration of being afraid of monsters under his bed and how they were there when he was lone in his room...but in his parents room, they all disappeared. I remember how those big bad thunderstorms that always happened when I was younger, they weren't so bad in my parent's room. God is that protective of us. As our Father, He protects us and keeps us from the harm that's out there. We can have shelter while we're going through the trials He has allowed us to go through. He is our Abba Father, and is our help in time of need. Wow...it's so wonderful to sit back and think of God as a true Father to us. And lastly, to talk of how we should be thankful. In verses 3, 5, 7, and 11 it talks of how we should praise Him and thank Him for what He does. I don't thank God nearly enough. He has truly done so much for me that no amount of thanks could ever repay Him. But, I try to! Thanking Him is something I try to do...but fail to do so often.
It's incredible to sit and think about God in His...awesomeness...shows us His love and protects us. It's mind boggling to think of His love and just how deep it is. My love for God is not even close to His love for me. With His help, I'm going to strive to truly love Him more with each passing day. The sang we closed the service with was "More Love to Thee" and I think that's one of my favorite songs now! I have so many! But really think of these words. I want my prayer to be, more love to Thee, o Christ!
More love to Thee, O Christ, more love to Thee!
Hear Thou the prayer I make on bended knee.
This is my earnest plea: More love, O Christ, to Thee;
More love to Thee, more love to Thee!
Once earthly joy I craved, sought peace and rest;
Now Thee alone I seek, give what is best.
This all my prayer shall be: More love, O Christ to Thee;
More love to Thee, more love to Thee!
Let sorrow do its work, come grief or pain;
Sweet are Thy messengers, sweet their refrain,
When they can sing with me: More love, O Christ, to Thee;
More love to Thee, more love to Thee!
Then shall my latest breath whisper Thy praise;
This be the parting cry my heart shall raise;
This still its prayer shall be: More love, O Christ to Thee;
More love to Thee, more love to Thee!
Friday, July 14, 2006
15 minutes early
Hey friends!
It's been a little while since I've updated on here...so I think I shall in the 15 minutes before I have to go to work. I still have a Xanga account...and I sort of still keep up with that. (If you want to read that go to www.xanga.com/bellinaprincipessa) Anyway, I updated there last night and I am going to say much of the same thing. God has really opened my eyes to see just how selfish I truly am. I'm stepping out on a limb here and am going to be transparent with you all. I've always had a major struggle with having my devotions. It's not that I don't have the want to read my Bible and draw closer to God. It's that I haven't disciplined myself to not be selfish with the time God has given me. Instead of waking up just 15 minutes earlier, I think..."Oh yes! I have 15 more minutes I can sleep!" Instead of turning off the TV I think about how badly I need to watch this meaningless TV show or movie (not that there is really anything good on TV any more anyways). But God has really rebuked me about this. I can't help but think, "He died for me...why can't I give Him just 15 minutes?" Yes, it should be more, but 15 minutes is not long at all. Why can't I give Him just that?!!?! Because I'm selfish and self-centered. I want things to be done when I want them. If I want to sleep instead of reading my Bible...I will. But why? Why can't I be self-less when it comes to my Savior? Doesn't He deserve better? Of course He does. And I'm so unworthy of His love. That love that STILL loves me, even when I am like this and totally focused on me. Wow...He still loves me. Praise God for that!! With His help, I'm truly going to work at thinking less of me and thinking way more of Him. I want that desire to truly know Him. I want to be able to not get enough of Him and reading His Word. I want to be on FIRE for Him. And with His strength, since I am nothing without Him, I think I'll be able to do it.
God's also been showing me that the transfer from BJ to MBBC is going to be a good thing. It will be better than I'm making it out to be! And, He's truly giving me a heart to be somewhere else...soon. I'm not sure where that will be...but the uncertainty is kind of exciting. I can say with confidence that He's giving me a desire to do something different next summer, instead of this job I'm doing now. And, that really excites me. I want to know what it will be, but I'm content with waiting.
Work is unfortunately calling my name. So I guess that's all for now!
It's been a little while since I've updated on here...so I think I shall in the 15 minutes before I have to go to work. I still have a Xanga account...and I sort of still keep up with that. (If you want to read that go to www.xanga.com/bellinaprincipessa) Anyway, I updated there last night and I am going to say much of the same thing. God has really opened my eyes to see just how selfish I truly am. I'm stepping out on a limb here and am going to be transparent with you all. I've always had a major struggle with having my devotions. It's not that I don't have the want to read my Bible and draw closer to God. It's that I haven't disciplined myself to not be selfish with the time God has given me. Instead of waking up just 15 minutes earlier, I think..."Oh yes! I have 15 more minutes I can sleep!" Instead of turning off the TV I think about how badly I need to watch this meaningless TV show or movie (not that there is really anything good on TV any more anyways). But God has really rebuked me about this. I can't help but think, "He died for me...why can't I give Him just 15 minutes?" Yes, it should be more, but 15 minutes is not long at all. Why can't I give Him just that?!!?! Because I'm selfish and self-centered. I want things to be done when I want them. If I want to sleep instead of reading my Bible...I will. But why? Why can't I be self-less when it comes to my Savior? Doesn't He deserve better? Of course He does. And I'm so unworthy of His love. That love that STILL loves me, even when I am like this and totally focused on me. Wow...He still loves me. Praise God for that!! With His help, I'm truly going to work at thinking less of me and thinking way more of Him. I want that desire to truly know Him. I want to be able to not get enough of Him and reading His Word. I want to be on FIRE for Him. And with His strength, since I am nothing without Him, I think I'll be able to do it.
God's also been showing me that the transfer from BJ to MBBC is going to be a good thing. It will be better than I'm making it out to be! And, He's truly giving me a heart to be somewhere else...soon. I'm not sure where that will be...but the uncertainty is kind of exciting. I can say with confidence that He's giving me a desire to do something different next summer, instead of this job I'm doing now. And, that really excites me. I want to know what it will be, but I'm content with waiting.
Work is unfortunately calling my name. So I guess that's all for now!
Saturday, July 01, 2006
Mysterious Ways
God works in mysterious ways. Ways that I would really love to know about. I want so badly to ask Him, "Why?" but I know in my heart, He's done it for His own glory. Oh...if only I could get rid of this pain in my heart about not knowing the answer. And the pain of something happening that was out of my control. God knows what's best...I know. But, sometimes, it's just so hard to see that.
Well, on a different note...today was a nice day. I hung out with my sister. We went to the Muncie Mall and ate at Auntie Anne's (its' a pretzel place...in case you didn't know!!!) and it was yummy! We also went to the library and got some books and stuff. Now we're home getting ready to eat dinner. I'm ready for tomorrow. I'll be able to be in my Sunday School class again. I would've enjoyed teaching the K5 boys...if I ever had any! So, I always missed my class. Now, we're combining the boys and girls, so I won't be teaching. And, I'll actually be in the service! I'm not in Junior Church (that I know of) so I'll actually get to sing in choir again and hear most of the message. Yay! Sundays are the best. Then it's back to work again on Monday. Speaking of work...we went on a field trip this past Thursday to the Children's Museum in Muncie. It was SO awesome! The kids loved it and they were able to do so much! That place is so cool. And what's best...I didn't even had to watch the kids. They could run free, not have to clean up after themselves, and I didn't have to keep my eye on them. It was great! I'm definitely going back there sometime!
I got a letter from one of my friends that moved to Pennsylvania. She's doing well. Her baby is due next Sunday (the 9th) and I can't wait to see pictures of her. As far as I know, they are naming her Breleigh Grace. The name might grow on me!:)
Well, I better get off here now. It's about that time! Later friends!
Well, on a different note...today was a nice day. I hung out with my sister. We went to the Muncie Mall and ate at Auntie Anne's (its' a pretzel place...in case you didn't know!!!) and it was yummy! We also went to the library and got some books and stuff. Now we're home getting ready to eat dinner. I'm ready for tomorrow. I'll be able to be in my Sunday School class again. I would've enjoyed teaching the K5 boys...if I ever had any! So, I always missed my class. Now, we're combining the boys and girls, so I won't be teaching. And, I'll actually be in the service! I'm not in Junior Church (that I know of) so I'll actually get to sing in choir again and hear most of the message. Yay! Sundays are the best. Then it's back to work again on Monday. Speaking of work...we went on a field trip this past Thursday to the Children's Museum in Muncie. It was SO awesome! The kids loved it and they were able to do so much! That place is so cool. And what's best...I didn't even had to watch the kids. They could run free, not have to clean up after themselves, and I didn't have to keep my eye on them. It was great! I'm definitely going back there sometime!
I got a letter from one of my friends that moved to Pennsylvania. She's doing well. Her baby is due next Sunday (the 9th) and I can't wait to see pictures of her. As far as I know, they are naming her Breleigh Grace. The name might grow on me!:)
Well, I better get off here now. It's about that time! Later friends!
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