Perfect In God's Will

I'm actually posting again this week! Isn't that cool?! Ok, so I'm probably the only one that thinks it's cool. But, anyway, I actually don't have much to say tonight. Well, I guess I could put a lot down, but I'll refrain. I'm to the point where I'm in need of a break. Thanksgiving break is NOT coming fast enough! I can't wait to be home with my parents and my sister (my best friend EVER!!!) just hanging out and having fun. It'll be so nice. It's coming. Slowly but surely...it's coming. I got my midterm grades yesterday. Not too bad. I've got some work to do! Only 1 C and the rest B's. So, I've got some work to do before the real grades come out.

Have you ever just been so completely in awe of God? I was totally in awe of Him yesterday and today. It's Missions Conference this week and we have some different missionaries presenting their work. I'm not sure where God's calling me or what He'll call me to do in the future, but to see these people get up and have such a heart for serving God in these countries, just puts me in awe of Him. He's has called those people that He knows will best be used in these countries. And then, He qualifies them. Like that saying, "God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called." And here I am, thinking of how inadequate I am to be called and used of God, yet He can and will still use me if I'm serving Him and let Him guide me. Amazing. He knows exactly the path that I will walk in the future (for however long He keeps me here) and it's a perfect plan. No, it won't always be easy, and yeah, I'm gonna want to question Him (and more times than not I WILL question Him) but yet, His way is perfect. God's really teaching me this right now. When I look at things in my life and wonder "Why?" He knows what He's doing. Things in my life are not perfect...but they're going perfectly according to God's will. Isn't that an amazing thought? It's so easy to get discouraged and down and not want to get up when you fall. But God's grace is so amazing and faithful. God is amazing. I can't comprehend it...I can't even begin to understand it. But, I'm so glad He's faithful, especially when I'm not!

How wide is Your love
That You would stretch Your arms
And go around the world
And why for me would a Savior's cry be heard

I don't know
Why You went where I was meant to go
I don't know
Why You love me so

Those were my nails
That was my crown
That pierced Your hands and Your brow
Those were my thorns
Those were my scorns
Those were my tears that fell down
And just as You said it would be
You did it all for me
And after You counted the cost
You took my shame, my blame
On my cross

How deep is Your grace
That you could see my need
And chose to take my place
And then for me, these words I'd hear You say

Father no
Forgive them for they know not what they do
I will go
Because I love them so

I love the words to this song. It seriously makes me cry when I read these words and think of the price Christ paid for me. That was my cross that He died on. I deserve it...not Him. Yet He loves me (and you!) so much, He gave His life. Amazing. That's all I can say. God is Amazing.

A song on my mind

The King of love my Shepherd is,
Whose goodness faileth never,
I nothing lack if I am His
And He is mine forever.

Where streams of living water flow
My ransomed soul He leadeth,
And where the verdant pastures grow,
With food celestial feedeth.

Perverse and foolish oft I strayed,
But yet in love He sought me,
And on His shoulder gently laid,
And home, rejoicing, brought me.

In death’s dark vale I fear no ill
With Thee, dear Lord, beside me;
Thy rod and staff my comfort still,
Thy cross before to guide me.

Thou spread’st a table in my sight;
Thy unction grace bestoweth;
And O what transport of delight
From Thy pure chalice floweth.

And so through all the length of days
Thy goodness faileth never;
Good Shepherd, may I sing Thy praise
Within Thy house forever.

I have a lot on my mind today...one of which just happens to be this song. I feel as though I could write a book on here today, but I won't! I'll leave you with this song to mediate on. Read the words slowly. God is amazing. Truly amazing.

Be Still

I love it when you're reading a passage in the Bible and a verse just sort of "pops" out at you. I was reading in my NASB (no, I'm not KJV only...sorry if that offends someone) but in Psalm 46 verse 10 says "Be still and know that I am God..." reads like this in the NASB; "Cease striving, and know that I am God;..." I like the phrase, "cease striving." I know I haven't been still. I honestly long for that period of time that I can just "be still" and be with God. It amazes me that the longer I spend with God, the better off life seems to be. I'm breaking new ground there! :) But, I've been able to look back and see the days when I was in a good mood and felt like I could conquer all, was when I had had that quiet time where I was still with God. If we do this, He'll open our hearts and open our eyes to the wonderful things in His law. I was still today. I've recently heard commotion about the 13th book in "The Series of Unfortunate Events" and how it came out yesterday. And, honestly, I have not read those books. So, while I was at the Watertown library on Thursday, I found the the first book, and checked it out. I'm nearly half-way through and yeah, it's a good book. One I'm sure I'll be picking up the rest of! But, I was still last night and today, and just read. It was good to have the relaxation time and to just...be still. I wasn't worried about what else I'd be doing today. I wasn't concerned about the tests I have coming up this week (although I should be!). I was just relaxing with a good book. And then I studied for a while. Now granted, that time would have been better spent with God, but I've had some time with Him today. And it was good. In fact, I'm about ready to spend just a little more time with Him before I hit the books again. There's something drawing me back. So, I'm about to "be still" again. And find that quiet place where God will speak to me. It's a wonderful thing to sit and think about. How we, as Christians, are able to have this type of intimate relationship with our Creator. We can go to Him 24/7 in prayer. And He knows! And He WANTS us to come to Him. Amazing. God is amazing. Dwell on Him. Delight in Him. Be still and know that He IS God.

Various Blessings

So it's been awhile since I've updated. But things are going well. God has truly been teaching me so much more than I could ever put in a single post. I don't have a ton of time right now (a quiz and a test tomorrow!), but I did want to write a few of the things God has been teaching me. Last night before I went to bed, I read from the "Taste and See" book by John Piper. The reading was AMAZING. I had thought about typing the whole thing out, but decided against it. You all should pick this book up and read all of them, but especially number 55. That was last night's reading. God really used it to get my heart and open my eyes. I actually have a burning desire right now to pick up my Bible and just read. And pray that God will open my eyes to things He has for me to learn from this precious book. I didn't want to put my Bible down last night, yet I needed to get some sleep. But, today, all I could think about was what God taught me last night. How much time I DON'T spend in His word and prayerfully read the words that are written. How much time I DO spend on other measly tasks, yet His word and my quiet time with Him always get pushed out. And now, I can't seem to put it down! It's amazing. God has truly opened my eyes to the WONDERFUL things in His word.

I went to the doctor last week and found out that what was then a bacterial infection turned into strep throat. But, thankfully, I got an anti-biotic and am not strep free (I think!) and also pill free. I took my last one tonight. It's a good feeling! I'm hoping to not get that again for at least a little while! But, while I was sitting in the doctor's office (that is one of the places where the wait can be quite long) I got to read another chapter in my "The Calvary Road" book. Again...AMAZING chapter! It's titled, "Are you willing to be a servant?" And at first glance, I thought, "Oh, another thing to read about servanthood. I already know that I'm supposed to serve, yadda, yadda, yadda." And starting out with this mindset...yep. You guessed it! God opened my heart and eyes and I realized that I wasn't being a servant. Right off the bat, Roy Hession states that once we understand the humility and self-emptying that is involved in servanthood, then and only then are we able to take on the position of a servant. He talks of the two different types of servants mentioned in the Bible. One is a hired servant that gets paid and has rights, and the second is a bondservant that does not get paid and has no rights and no appeal. In the Old Testament the Hebrews were forbidden to make bondservants from their own race, but the Gentiles were allowed to take such slaves. But when we go to the New Testament, the word in Greek for our LORD and Savior, Jesus Christ isn't a hired servant, but a bondservant, which shows us that our position is to be the same. A bondservant to Jesus Christ with no appeal, no rights, and to be treated and disposed of just as He wishes. This reading about a true servant rebuked me and made me just how much of a servant I am not. But by His grace, He's teaching me more and more each day to be a true servant to Him and others.

I'm really striving to have a heart for God. And allowing Him to dwell in my heart. It's easier said than done! I'm learning all the time that I have so far to go until I'm where God wants me. Sometimes it feels as if I'm going backwards. But I know He isn't finished with me yet. And that's what I love. I hope to take the rest of today, tomorrow, the rest of this week and month and year to truly let God change me and for me to take delight in Him.