Between a rock and a hard place

I just check my PO Box and I got 3 things! :) One letter from my Grandma and another letter from a dear friend back home. The other thing was a contract for working at camp this coming summer. Now, I have always wanted to work at a camp, and so I would absolutely love this opportunity. However, my dad told me that I might not have the money to come back next fall if I don't work and save up money. Working at camp would not give me as much money as working at the job I've worked at for the past 4 summers. That job is spending an 8 hour day playing (and sometimes teaching!) Preschoolers. I completely love that job, and would really miss it. However, being a Camp Counselor is something I have truly wanted to do for a long time, and this summer, I'm getting that opportunity. But, what do I choose? I've been praying hard about this, and so have my parents, and yet, God has not answered. I know He'll show me the way, but at this point, it's hard to wait. So, if you happen to read this blog, please pray for me. I want more than anything to do God's will. I know He'll lead.

On a different note, I'm reading the book "Don't Waste Your Life" by John Piper. It has been amazing. The second chapter paints a vivid picture of God's love for us. When reading it, it literally brought me to tears. Thinking of how much God loves me, and how much I try but often don't show my love for Him is an amazing thought to me. Yes, we all know and have heard time and time again that God loved us so much, He sent His Son for us. But think about this. God created us, to glorify Himself. Some of the best ways we glorify God is by being His child and obeying Him and living our lives TO glorify Him. Think of that. He created us for His own glory. To me, this is inconceivable. Our duty is to delight in God...it is our joyful duty. That is the passion we all need to have. To joyfully delight in God. Be satisfied in Him. He is our all...and yet we always seem to want more. It actually makes me feel ashamed when I think of all God's given me so far, and how I keep seeming to demand more. It makes me feel ungrateful towards all the good He's already done. Amazing. To think of all this is simply amazing.

Things are getting interesting here in my room. (Yes, I know...odd of me to start talking of my room!) I shall get pictures and such put on here as soon as I find the cord that goes to my camera. It's a sad thing to not know where that is. I have a pretty funny video on there right now. Just to give you an idea of what it is...2 of my roommates and one friend from downstairs are "moving" around the room to a Disney song being played. It's quite on the funny side, if I do say so myself! But, alas, I can't find my cord, so I'm afraid you won't be seeing it any time soon! We recently rearranged the room. It looks a lot better now. More room in the middle. It's a nice set-up. I'm blessed to have such great roommates. There are a few things that we're working on in here...and so far they're going splendidly. The Lord gives grace...that's just about all I can say! :)

God's been teaching me much as far as my walk with Him goes. He's shown me truly that I have a long way to go before I'm anywhere close to being the woman He wants me to be. Though the road has not been an easy one, it's been a good one. New things are getting pointed out to me every where I turn. I'm seeing new situations that I haven't been placed in before and I'm learning how to deal with them. For the first time since coming to MBBC, I think I'm beginning to understand why He sent me here. It's a great college...and I truly love it. And now, I'm getting a glimpse as to why God called me from BJ to come here. And all I can say to that is, Thank You, Lord!

Psalm 16:11 "Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore."

Make my life an alleluia, a song of praise to You each day.
To proclaim Your grace and glory, fill my heart with Your praise, I pray.
When I stand at the mountaintop, or the valley of despair,
This will be my cry, my song, my prayer;
Lord make my life an alleluia.

Make my life an alleluia, a gift of love to You, my king.
I will join with all creation in the song that the heavens sing!
The earth will turn, and the planets spin, as the seasons ebb and flow;
Still Your grace surrounds me as I go,
Lord, make my life an alleluia.

Make my life an alleluia, this off'ring of myself I give.
I will share Your grace and mercy for as long as I shall live.
When I come to my journey's end, may those left behind be reminded,
This has been my cry, my song, my prayer;
Lord make my life an alleluia.